music meltdown

I was reflecting this evening on the effect music has on me. I love music of all kinds, and I find it hard to pin down any particular type of music as a favourite.

I've discovered that for me, music serves as a kind of emotional and mental warm up, like stretching for physical exercise. Some of that warm up comes from the lyrics of a song, rehearsing situations and emotions, but not all. The music itself, the chords, the melody, the rhythm, has an effect beyond the lyrical content.

I started thinking about this because of the way that music makes me want to pray. I play cds in the car and for a few weeks I've been playing a worship cd which has been really good for me. But recently I've started playing some other, more secular, cds and I've noticed that as soon as the music comes on I immediately relax, my mood improves and I want to pray. Have I just been conditioned?

It's as if it has an almost physical effect on me, a washing over. I can feel it happening! My brain runs more smoothly, my emotions come closer to the surface, I feel happier. I was listening to Rhythm of the Saints on the way home today and the rhythm woke me right up, made me smile..tapping on the steering wheel and bopping away!
All kinds of music have this effect. I've been listening to old cheese, Jars of Clay, Paul Simon...
When i used to go to Planet of Sound weekly, a few years back now, I had some of my best prayer times of the week on the trance floor - strange I know! Dancing has a similar effect on me. Actually, someone lent me an old trance cd recently and I've found it excellent for working to.

Does anyone else have this happen to them?

East of Eden

I've just finished reading East of Eden by John Steinbeck, a present from Tom. I wasn't sure what to expect, as at least two people said to me that it was the best book they'd read.
Even now, it's hard to work out exactly what I feel about it. It was surprisingly readable and the characters unexpected. The world and characters he draws are both familiar and at the same time unfamiliar as only real people can be.

The novel revolves around and reflects upon the events in Genesis 4 - the story of Cain and Abel. There are two sets of brothers in this story and part of the anticipation of the novel lies in the extent to which their lives reflect their Genesis counterparts. I won't spoil the story for those who haven't read it, but it doesn't spoil much to say that the novel is about, for me at least, the importance of choice - tied up in the word timshel, 'thou mayest'. Among its themes are the good and evil in every person, revenge and redemption, jealousy and love, guilt and forgiveness. I loved the last section of the book, and especially the interactions between the characters in the Trask household, Lee and Cal particularly. The pain of rejection and its consequences in the different characters provides the most memorable scenes and the novel hinges on the helpless inevitability-or not- of the result.

Towards the end the novel I was uncomfortable with its appearing to condone 'evil' thoughts and actions in a person, even preferring them to morality and innocence. But I have come to realise that the novel is ultimately not about good or evil people, but about the reality of sin in everyone and the choice that we have - whether to fan it into flames or to master it. The 'innocent' and 'evil' characters in this story serve mainly as foils to their more complicated counterparts, giving context to their actions.

Munchen Hochzeit

I just got back today from Germany and a fab weekend at my cousin Lisa's wedding. I will recount my adventures and observations in the style of my friend Mr Shervington, although i fear it will not be quite as diverting...

Friday I was in a state of nervous excitement all day, you'd think I'd never been on a plane before! My first experience of flying away for the weekend at any rate, and my first trip into Europe (that is, further than Brussels!) Hard to believe isn't it? After some confusion about flight times, I boarded at Durham Teeside (which is the smallest funniest airport ever) and took off to Amsterdam. With all the flights this weekend I was reflecting on how much I love takeoff. I find it so exhilarating, especially in the small 'cityhopper' planes. The acceleration down the runway and the anticipation just before you lift into the sky, being pushed back into your seat as it rises - what a rush! Don't mind me...

I finally arrived in Munich at 10pm, after too long spent admiring the workings of Amsterdam airport. My first view of Germany..and that was only the autobahn and in the dark. Sadly I was not to see much more, and of Munich pretty much nothing! We stayed in a rural hotel, which was perhaps the oddest place I have ever stayed. We had an ensuite with a bath, a sink and a large fridge, but no toilet. The room had two lamps and a TV, none of which worked! And the curtains when pulled closed left a gap of 15cm or more. Added to this, despite being pretty large, the hotel appeared to be completely empty apart from those of us there for the wedding!

The wedding was held in a small church in a nearby town. It was mostly in English but there were a few moments of confusion as someone explained something in German and we looked around for someone to translate. Despite the different country and language I was struck by how similar it all was. And not just that the church service was similar. It was more the realisation that wherever we go in the world there is something that’s ‘at home and among family’ when we’re worshipping with other Christians. I was so glad to be there and to celebrate the wedding. Bride and groom were radiant and excited…exactly as they should be! After much setting up and preparation the evening’s festivities began. A feast of pork belly and ribs with dumplings and gravy, potato salad, bread and cheese – yummy! And entertainment to follow…not all of which was completely intelligible!

I was supposed to leave Munich at 10am on Sunday but it wasn’t to be. My flight was overbooked and I was bumped onto a flight leaving at 8pm in the evening, requiring an overnight stay in Amsterdam. I wandered around, read lots, spent some time with dad and Leo (who caught a later flight), and generally kicked my heels for 8 hours! I spent a delightful hour in conversation with a older German lady off to visit her sister in Felixstowe. Her English was limited so we exchanged language snippets about home and family until her check-in time. I eventually escaped Munich airport with generous compensation, meal voucher and hotel ticket. I spent the night in an unexciting Travelodge-style hotel and finally arrived home at lunch time today.

I very much enjoyed my small glimpse of Germany. Everyone I met was charming and helpful. Complete strangers would step in, smiling, to assist with things lost in translation. Airport and airline staff were friendlier and more helpful than I expected…and certainly more so than in Amsterdam or home in England. Despite not previously being a fan of the German language, I found it surprisingly fun to speak – or at least attempt to! All in all, I think I’m up for a return visit!

Christians in Antioch

I was reading Acts 11 this morning and noticed for the first time Luke's statement that "the disciples were called Christians first at Antioch". The notes in my Bible point out that they were called Christians because, being a mixture of Jews (speaking Greek or Aramaic) and Gentiles, Christ was all they had in common - not race, culture or language.

I was inspired by two things:
- unity IS possible in Christ, across all cultural boundaries and in the most impossible situations
- diversity is a reality, homogeneity unnecessary. Sometimes Christ is ALL we have in common. We don't have to 'click' with everybody, nor mold them in our own image, but we are called to love everyone.

Jumbled joy

Here's a little something I put together today while work-avoiding.

It's made up of lines from the songs on my current worship cd-mix. I'll be impressed if anyone guesses all 14...

Lift up your eyes,
Early in the morning.
The harvest is here,
The kingdom is near!
Though there’s pain in the offering,
I will celebrate the light.

I’ve tasted and I’ve seen,
I know with all my heart.
No one else will do:
Heaven’s perfect Lamb,
I’ll lay it all down again,
It’s You I live for, everyday!

Bigger than the heavens and the highest of heights,
The universe declares your majesty.
You are far above,
Strong to deliver, mighty to save.
I’ll learn to stand upon Your word.

My heart will choose to say:
I’m gonna stand,
I’m gonna run,
I’ll follow after You.
To find You in the place Your glory dwells,
That’s the cry of my heart.

When I’m found in the desert place,
Help me know You are near.
I’m lost without you!
I’ll fear no evil for You are with me,
With wisdom, power and love.
Who’s your equal?

Your Spirit’s water to my soul,
Healing comes from your hands,
The fire of God,
Stirring up my passion.
My heart is satisfied within your presence,
the warmth of Your embrace.

Your glory will fill the earth,
Like water the sea.
Peeling back the darkness,
Rising up in me.
You’re all I ever needed,
My daily bread, the air I breathe.

It’s true and I believe it!
Our God turns the bitter into sweet,
Mercy and grace he gave us at the cross.
He will watch over your coming and your going
And calm the storm with His hand.

Canadian wildlife..?

Top 10 Canada Adventures

(not in order!)

- whale watching in a Zodiac. From Victoria Inner Harbour and along the south coast of Vancouver Island. The exhiliration of the boat trip alone made it worth it, but the orca were quite sublime. We found ourselves in the path of the pod as it headed west and one or two surfaced right next to the boat!

- White water rafting at Whistler. Breathless fun, made all the more exciting when mum went overboard!

- Valdes (wilderness island). Swimming, shooting, eating. An amazing cabin (and company!) And a fabulous, getting-lost adventure in the forest. Scrambling over logging 'remains' and tree-bridges through mazes of dead-fall and finding our way home again.. no trouble!

- Caving at Horne Lake. A $5 bargain. Unguided, dark, and surprisingly challenging. Scrambling over muddy rocks deep in the ground..wahey!

- Peak chair at Whistler. Civilised but fun! Steep near-vertical climb up the cliff, view of the glacier, snow at the top.


- Wading the Green River on horseback. Water up to the saddle and our knees pulled up, horses struggling against the current. Felt like we were in a Western disaster movie!



- Clambering over the rocks from Botanical Beach to Botany Bay. Juan de Fuca trail. Heavy damp fog made it all the more mysterious. Exploring the island at Botany Bay and trying not to fall in the sea.

- Steam-powered saw mill at Port Alberni. Could have watched all day! Amazing.

- Miller family reunion at Parksville. 32 people. Photos of everyone, Granma lifted in a chair.

- Mini golf. 3 times? 4? Brendan was addicted and dragged us kicking and screaming...


(I have a good number more pictures but unfortunately they're still in Canada..long story!)

Weekend wanderings

2 days, 420 miles, 3 cities, 4 highly secret locations, 7 friends, 2 farm vehicles, 3 dogs, 2 'detours' and almost 9 hrs in the car....a most excellent weekend!

Saturday morning, after a slightly hurried start, I made my way to my friend Caroline's farm in Suffolk. The A12 is not the fastest road in the world and this was the longest section of my trip by far. Lovely to be back in round bale land...highlights were rides in the combine harvester and the tractor (didn't drive it this time though!).

Then onwards to Cambridge and Susie's house. Time to quiz (and congratulate!) Jon on his engagement to Anastasia..and generally catch up with the Cambridge gossip.

Sunday morning found me on my way to Lincolnshire, to lunch with some old friends of the family, Judy and Roland. I caught up with Judy, read Roland's sermon (and managed to say the right things), had a yummy lunch, acquired an excellent painting and was off again, this time to York.

Stopped by to see Sherv's new house, the main challenge being to find it! Then, it was time to call an end to my wanderings and get back on the A1..homeward bound. Arrived at the Bonnington's just before 8 for a lovely evening catching up with Durham folks and a late game of Catan.


Things I found out:
- How Jon proposed
- Straw bales in Lincolnshire are square, not round
- The secret location of Sherv's cottage
- A combine harvester is a rather splendid piece of machinery
- Judy paints some excellent watercolour pictures

Magic Number 1

And now for a bit of maths...
(I continue to be fascinated with the strange results of probability theory..see the Monty Hall problem)

Did you know... if you take any large set of numerical data from randomly selected statistics (importantly, not 'pure' random numbers) then the number 1 will appear as a leading digit about 30% of the time.

The man who first brought this to light was called Dr. Frank Benford, and thus this strange result is called 'Benford's Law'. It is used in accounting to detect fraud, because, for a non-fraudulent set of accounts, running all the figures through a computer will give the result above - the number 1 appears as the leading digit (e.g. 13.00, 1.15, 1602.38) 30% of the time. A result that is significantly different from this and it's time to call in the auditors!

Check out this page for a fuller description. A nice demonstration of why this is the case can be found at the bottom of the page.

Freedom and Uncertainty

We were having a discussion last night at dinner about freedom and uncertainty in the universe. I was reflecting on what the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle (HUP) implies about the universe as created by God.

For those unfamiliar with Heisenberg’s theory, it’s this:
“The more precisely the position [of a particle, e.g. electron] is determined, the less precisely the momentum is known in this instant, and vice versa.”

In other words, you cannot know both a particle’s position and its movement at the same time. In the quantum world, you must speak in probabilities. For example, as this website helpfully explains:
I can only say that an atom will be at some location with a 99 % probability, and that there will be a 1 % probability it will be somewhere else (in fact, there will be a small but finite probability that it can even be found across the Universe).

Heisenberg was primarily concerned with measurement. His principle implied that previously certain Classical ‘realities’, such as speed, direction, mass, position, were meaningless in the new quantum world and he argued that some aspects come into existence only as they are measured. ("The 'path' comes into existence only when we observe it.") In this way, the uncertainty at the heart of the quantum world is not a result of our poor measurement technique, but an integral part of the universe itself.

This had massive implications, not least for Newton’s idea of causality. In simple terms, the classical view was that if the position and momentum of every particle in the universe could be determined, then you could predict the path of each based on the forces acting on it, i.e. predict the future. Of course, to Newton, only God could possibly have the observational and computational power to accomplish this. But, as Heisenberg pointed out: "In the sharp formulation of the law of causality—‘if we know the present exactly, we can calculate the future’-it is not the conclusion that is wrong but the premise." Essentially, what he’s saying is that it’s impossible to know the present exactly (but the limit is not on the knowing, but on the ‘exactly’).

The question I asked is, since the uncertainty principle seems to be part of the very fabric of the universe and an integral characteristic of quantum particles, is the universe ‘uncertain’ even to God? In the same way as He’s given us freedom, has He built a similar freedom into the physical universe?

Dad is reading Greg Boyd’s ‘Satan and the Problem of Evil’ and was similarly reflecting on what it meant for humans (and angels) to have real freedom, and the necessary uncertainty built into that.

Thoughts anyone?

(Quotes are taken from this website where you can also read more about Heisenberg)

Photo tasters

One of the many waterfalls we stopped to visit. Brendan never misses an opportunity to get rid of his shirt...


For a while there the mini/crazy golf bug struck us hard. (I told them to make 'serious golfer' poses... not quite what I meant!)


A rather ominous thick sea fog makes its way towards us...


Granma surveys her crazy brood.


Another day, another lake, and another opportunity to strip off and go swimming!

Home at last

Wow, strange to be back in grey ol' London after such a trip. Just got back this morning after a killer longhaul flight..i'm so stiff! I was just glad to make it through passport control - my hair colour has seen a little change..

It's been a fab month and had some great adventures. But the best bit was definitely connecting with family. Ours is getting bigger each year and it's great to meet so many people that you have this shared connection with.

I'm thinking of putting some of the photos together with a mini account of the trip on a website when i get back to Durham. But for now, i'll put up one or two. Hard to know where to start! Plus you might want to check some of the photos on BJ's Garden blog.

Hope people are well and you've all had fab summers!

Family Fun

I'm planning a fuller Canada story and photos when I get back but here's a look at the Miller clan...

It's arrived! yay!

Well, I've got there at last! Finished school for the year, I'm now in London - my last evening in England for a while. We're off at 8am tomorrow morning so no end-of-term lie-in for me! It's really exciting to be going back to Canada again, and I'm looking forward to getting on a plane again (first time in 5 years or so) and later going by boat, ferry, horseback, white water raft, kayak, bus, rental car and who knows what else? Yay!

Everyone, have a great summer. If you feel like saying hi I'd love to hear about what you're up to (you could even leave me a 'hello' by replying to this post with a comment!) and I'll try and reply when i get connected.. Otherwise, I'll see you all soon xx

Family life

For a glimpse of life in the London Millers house check out this poem about my brother's birthday party preparations... it made me laugh a lot!

War of the Worlds

If you haven't seen this yet (and especially if you don't know the book), look out for the splinter scene with his daughter.. it's the key to the whole story!

Making house

I have been pondering recently the mystery of a 'good house' (and i'm not talking about the physical building). What are the things which make a house somewhere you'd want to live?
Something that's really important to me is hospitality, although I'm not always as good as I'd like to be! What makes a house hospitable? What makes it a warm place to be and somewhere you feel comfortable?

Here are some ideas to be starting off with..

Values shared by housemates (e.g. hospitality)

Full part played by every housemate (rights and responsibilities)

Shared ownership (seems important but hard to define exactly what I mean.. something like 'we're in it together')

Meals together

Joint 'expenses' (food etc)

Welcoming guests - whoever has invited them

Decisions discussed together and nothing 'assumed' (tricky!)

I like to have housemates who look out for me and aren't afraid to challenge me when necessary

Any others?

Postcard pathos

If you haven't seen it already, check out the link to Postsecret on Hils' Jog Blog. What a fantastic idea and in some cases an eye opener. The comments, as well as the postcards, are worth reading.

Millers with bear

Pipers piping