Gender is such an interesting thing. I've never felt confined by my gender, although I realise that this may be an unusual experience. Any limits on the possibilities open to me have always seemed those of skill or competency, and not because I am female. I am thankful indeed to have been born into a family environment and been part of a wider network (school, church, friends) that has encouraged and enabled me to follow my own path, without worrying about society's expectations of me as a woman.
Actually I've always been glad to be a woman, and at times even glad to play the 'helpless female' when it worked to my advantage. I've always (and perhaps cynically) seen social expectations as something to take advantage of when working in my favour, and subverted or ignored when not!
I love the freedom in being a woman, and implicit in that, the freedom not to be a man. While I want men and women to enjoy equality of opportunity and expression beyond gender lines, I also want to celebrate the differences between us. While I recognise in myself some traditionally masculine qualities (or 'Martian characteristics', as some have heard!), I don't ever want to feel that the only way I can express those is to be less female. In fact, I long to use all the talents God has placed in me while more fully the woman He has made me. O to be the woman described in Proverbs 31!
I've always felt that to be a woman of God is to celebrate everything that God has put in me that is female. And for me personally, much of that is tied up in the idea of what it means to be in partnership with a man. (Though i'm not saying that a woman is incomplete without a man!) But I guess, for me, some of what I want to enjoy as a woman is to be pursued and loved by a man, to enjoy beauty and 'femininity', cherished and protected in marriage, submitted to my husband, motherhood... Like many girls I know I identified on one level with the picture John Eldridge paints in 'Wild at Heart' - the secret desire to be rescued by a knight on a white charger and carried off into the sunset.. (although - for any secret admirers out there - I will accept a more liberal interpretation! though the horse is essential)
I've always been a independent sort of person, as I'm sure those of you who know me would agree! So some of this has come as a surprise to friends in the past. And I realise that some of this is controversial - not every girl friend would agree with those things I have picked out.
I remember an occasion a few years back which sticks in my memory as a moment of epiphany about myself. I was at a party with some friends, but ended up having to leave early and walk home. Some friends (guys) offered to walk me and I waved them off with a 'oh no, don't worry, I'll be ok', but as soon as I'd left realised that I would have loved someone to have insisted. They were valuing my independence and right to make my own decisions, but somewhere in me was the social and cultural expectation that a guy should walk a girl home after dark, should insist on doing so despite protestations to the contrary! So although I was perfectly capable of getting home and wasn't worried about walking alone in Durham or anything like that, I guess I did want those social roles to still work in my favour!
Monday, October 31, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
Food for maths geeks
This strange cauliflower turned up in a bag of organic vegetables. We were quite stunned but I have since discovered that it is not of extra-terrestrial origin but in fact a 'Broccoli Romanesco'. This veg must be the best example of a natural fractal that I have ever seen! My picture's not great but this website has some excellent pictures and explanation.
Evening in Durham
I was in my car, waiting in traffic, and admiring the evening sky over the city. The windows in these houses reflected even deeper shades of gold and rose than I had seen in the sky itself.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
From the Plane
This is a picture I took from the plane coming back from Germany. It's the UK coast, somewhere south of Middlesbrough. Anyone recognise it? I want to know where it is!
Isn't it amazing to actually see the curve of the Earth like this?
Isn't it amazing to actually see the curve of the Earth like this?
The Horse and His Boy
This is one of my favourite of the Narnia books - the tale of two children and two talking horses making their way to Narnia. In terms of stories, this adventure - and the characters in it - has always appealed to me, providing some real food for thought in terms of life journeys and 'destiny'. And Aslan's appearance at the end provides some of my favourite moments of 'revelation' in the books:
Shasta meets Aslan and learns that all the lions (and a cat) he has encountered on his travels were in fact just one lion. Shasta asks him "Who are you?" and the lion replies, three times, "Myself".
Bree's comments about how Aslan couldn't possibly be a real lion, but maybe just 'as strong as a lion' or 'as fierce as a lion'.. "quite absurd to suppose he is a real lion. Indeed it would be disrespectful. If he was a lion he'd have to be a Beast just like the rest of us." and then Aslan tickles him with a whisker!
The mare, Hwin, on meeting Aslan:
"..you're so beautiful. You may eat me if you like. I'd rather be eaten by you than fed by anyone else."
Shasta meets Aslan and learns that all the lions (and a cat) he has encountered on his travels were in fact just one lion. Shasta asks him "Who are you?" and the lion replies, three times, "Myself".
Bree's comments about how Aslan couldn't possibly be a real lion, but maybe just 'as strong as a lion' or 'as fierce as a lion'.. "quite absurd to suppose he is a real lion. Indeed it would be disrespectful. If he was a lion he'd have to be a Beast just like the rest of us." and then Aslan tickles him with a whisker!
The mare, Hwin, on meeting Aslan:
"..you're so beautiful. You may eat me if you like. I'd rather be eaten by you than fed by anyone else."
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Well, what to say about a classic?!
It's difficult enough to narrow down my favourite bits..
- the Professor's surprising reaction when Peter and Susan are worried about Lucy: "a charge of lying against someone whom you have always found truthful is a very serious thing; a very serious thing indeed."
- the Beavers explain that Aslan is returning
"...don't you know? He's the King. He's the Lord of the whole wood.."
(it made me think of "Do you not know? Have you not heard that the LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth?" Isaiah 40:28)
- the snow melts for Spring has come! "Your winter has been destroyed, I tell you! This is Aslan's doing." says the Witch's dwarf. ('Even the demons know who I am.' The Witch has no power beyond what is allowed her)
- Mr Beaver objects to the Witch calling herself 'Queen of Narnia' but Aslan calms him: "Peace, Beaver..All names will soon be restored to their proper owners. In the meantime we will not dispute about them."
(I love how much this comment reveals Aslan's certainty, for lack of a better word. He knows what the proper order of things is and sees no need to debate it. The Witch has been queen, but only allowed to be so for a time, now nearing its end)
- the Witch's glee at her victory: "And now, who has won? Fool, did you think that by all this you would save the human traitor? ...Understand that you have given me Narnia forever, you have lost your own life and you have not saved his." (How Satan must have gloated at the cross and how gloriously wrong!)
- And, of course, the breaking of the Stone Table and the reappearance of Aslan, alive once more! This is such a wonderful scene, and I love the way it's the girls who witness it as the women do in the Gospels. Aslan tells them of a "magic deeper still" and follows it with a "romp such as no one has ever had except in Narnia". And then he Roars, bending the trees before him like grass in the wind. He's back - and more himself than ever!
It's difficult enough to narrow down my favourite bits..
- the Professor's surprising reaction when Peter and Susan are worried about Lucy: "a charge of lying against someone whom you have always found truthful is a very serious thing; a very serious thing indeed."
- the Beavers explain that Aslan is returning
"...don't you know? He's the King. He's the Lord of the whole wood.."
(it made me think of "Do you not know? Have you not heard that the LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth?" Isaiah 40:28)
- the snow melts for Spring has come! "Your winter has been destroyed, I tell you! This is Aslan's doing." says the Witch's dwarf. ('Even the demons know who I am.' The Witch has no power beyond what is allowed her)
- Mr Beaver objects to the Witch calling herself 'Queen of Narnia' but Aslan calms him: "Peace, Beaver..All names will soon be restored to their proper owners. In the meantime we will not dispute about them."
(I love how much this comment reveals Aslan's certainty, for lack of a better word. He knows what the proper order of things is and sees no need to debate it. The Witch has been queen, but only allowed to be so for a time, now nearing its end)
- the Witch's glee at her victory: "And now, who has won? Fool, did you think that by all this you would save the human traitor? ...Understand that you have given me Narnia forever, you have lost your own life and you have not saved his." (How Satan must have gloated at the cross and how gloriously wrong!)
- And, of course, the breaking of the Stone Table and the reappearance of Aslan, alive once more! This is such a wonderful scene, and I love the way it's the girls who witness it as the women do in the Gospels. Aslan tells them of a "magic deeper still" and follows it with a "romp such as no one has ever had except in Narnia". And then he Roars, bending the trees before him like grass in the wind. He's back - and more himself than ever!
"Do you love your wife?"
Yesterday evening Chris Juby played a song by 'Brother Don' (otherwise known as Don Francisco) which surprised me in its spot-on-ness. I found this website, where you can download an MP3 of 'The Steeple Song' - recommended!
"..the thing I need I need to ask you is have done the things I said..
Do you love your wife? "
"..the thing I need I need to ask you is have done the things I said..
Do you love your wife? "
Pictures from Munich
Granma - and other Millers - follow this link to see some pictures from Lisa and Franz's wedding in Munich. Sorry they've been so delayed!
Friday, October 21, 2005
Half term - yay!
...All I wanted to say really!
It feels so good to be finally here.. feels like I've been waiting for this from September! It's going to be a busy few days but I'm looking forward to Monday (which you won't normally hear me say...)
It feels so good to be finally here.. feels like I've been waiting for this from September! It's going to be a busy few days but I'm looking forward to Monday (which you won't normally hear me say...)
Thursday, October 20, 2005
The magic begins
I've just finished reading The Magician's Nephew, part of my plan to read all the Narnia books again over half term. I really enjoyed my escape to that magical world and encountering once more the beauty, strength and grace of the Lion..formidable yet impossible to resist. Aslan is so wonderfully real for me in reflecting the character and majesty of Jesus. As an allegory he works on so many levels and I find so many truths in the reflection..definitely someone I recognise! (is that heretical?!) I find there's something in the character of Aslan that helps me to understand (and worship) something more in the person of Jesus every time that I read it, perhaps the slightly unusual perspective helps...?
Anyway, here's a few of my favourite moments:
- the Lion's song
- Uncle Andrew has tried so hard not to hear that he stops being able to..
- Aslan says he knows the Cabby and asks if he recognises him
- Aslan explains why the fruit the witch took from the Tree will give her endless days but neither real Life nor joy. But the apple he gives Diggory as a gift brings life and healing to his mother.
Enjoyable and lots to consider but it's not the best of the books and I'm looking forward to striking on further... onwards and upwards!
Anyway, here's a few of my favourite moments:
- the Lion's song
- Uncle Andrew has tried so hard not to hear that he stops being able to..
- Aslan says he knows the Cabby and asks if he recognises him
- Aslan explains why the fruit the witch took from the Tree will give her endless days but neither real Life nor joy. But the apple he gives Diggory as a gift brings life and healing to his mother.
Enjoyable and lots to consider but it's not the best of the books and I'm looking forward to striking on further... onwards and upwards!
Monday, October 17, 2005
Pullman talks nonsense on Narnia
Like Hilary, I have been reading the debate on the BBC website regarding Philip Pullman's comments on the forthcoming Narnia films.
I've never taken part in one of these 'Have Your Say' moderated debates before and thought i'd have a go at adding my views. I wonder if they'll be 'printed'?
Just in case they're not, I thought i'd put them here instead..:-)
"It's fascinating to hear such a range of views on a subject I didn't realise was so in question. Narnia is a fictional world, and the book tells a fictional story, but like all good stories it contains both the familar and unfamilar. In his books CS Lewis retells the 'big story' and in this sense it's neither a (teaching) parable or a evangelistic tool, but reflects reality as he saw it. Thus the clear parallels between his tale and the Christian story of love and sacrifice and resurrection. Pullman's curious comments about the lack of love in the books remain a mystery...as someone previously commented, Aslan's death reveals a story centred on love: 'What greater love than this, that a man should lay down His life for His friend.'"
I've never taken part in one of these 'Have Your Say' moderated debates before and thought i'd have a go at adding my views. I wonder if they'll be 'printed'?
Just in case they're not, I thought i'd put them here instead..:-)
"It's fascinating to hear such a range of views on a subject I didn't realise was so in question. Narnia is a fictional world, and the book tells a fictional story, but like all good stories it contains both the familar and unfamilar. In his books CS Lewis retells the 'big story' and in this sense it's neither a (teaching) parable or a evangelistic tool, but reflects reality as he saw it. Thus the clear parallels between his tale and the Christian story of love and sacrifice and resurrection. Pullman's curious comments about the lack of love in the books remain a mystery...as someone previously commented, Aslan's death reveals a story centred on love: 'What greater love than this, that a man should lay down His life for His friend.'"
A way with words..
Something caught my attention on a recent reading of Acts 23.
Paul is normally really plain in expressing the Gospel and what he believes, but in this trial before the Sanhedrin he deliberately and quite cleverly subverts the questions and starts an argument between the Pharisees and Sadducees:
"I stand on trial because of my hope in the resurrection of the dead. When he said this, a dispute broke out between the Pharisees and the Sadducees, and the assembly was divided. [And Luke explains](the Sadducees say that there is no resurrection, and that there are neither angels nor spirits, but the Pharisees acknowledge them all.)" 23 v.6-7
It seems unusual for him to divert attention away in this way and perhaps even slightly deceptive - that's not really what they considered the trial was about surely? (although of course a fairly essential component) Perhaps he was just trying to highlight the lack of evidence or case against him..?
He later refers to this in his trial before Felix (chapter 24) when he admits that he caused a disturbance with his comments about resurrection before the Sanhedrin - and that was his only crime.
Thoughts?
Paul is normally really plain in expressing the Gospel and what he believes, but in this trial before the Sanhedrin he deliberately and quite cleverly subverts the questions and starts an argument between the Pharisees and Sadducees:
"I stand on trial because of my hope in the resurrection of the dead. When he said this, a dispute broke out between the Pharisees and the Sadducees, and the assembly was divided. [And Luke explains](the Sadducees say that there is no resurrection, and that there are neither angels nor spirits, but the Pharisees acknowledge them all.)" 23 v.6-7
It seems unusual for him to divert attention away in this way and perhaps even slightly deceptive - that's not really what they considered the trial was about surely? (although of course a fairly essential component) Perhaps he was just trying to highlight the lack of evidence or case against him..?
He later refers to this in his trial before Felix (chapter 24) when he admits that he caused a disturbance with his comments about resurrection before the Sanhedrin - and that was his only crime.
Thoughts?
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Rebuilding the House
I had one or two requests for a copy of this exerpt from Mere Christianity by CS Lewis:
"I find I must borrow yet another parable from George MacDonald. Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurt abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of-throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.
"The command Be ye perfect is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do the impossible. He is going to make us into creatures that can obey that command. He said (in the Bible) that we were 'gods' and He is going to make good His words. If we let Him - for we can prevent Him, if we choose - He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a god or goddess, a dazzling, radiant, immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright stainless mirror which reflects back to God perfectly (though, of course, on a smaller scale) His own boundless power and delight and goodness. The process will be long and in parts very painful; but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said."
"I find I must borrow yet another parable from George MacDonald. Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurt abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of-throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.
"The command Be ye perfect is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do the impossible. He is going to make us into creatures that can obey that command. He said (in the Bible) that we were 'gods' and He is going to make good His words. If we let Him - for we can prevent Him, if we choose - He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a god or goddess, a dazzling, radiant, immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright stainless mirror which reflects back to God perfectly (though, of course, on a smaller scale) His own boundless power and delight and goodness. The process will be long and in parts very painful; but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said."
i want you back for gooooood
Well, it's been a while but I am still alive and online - honest!
Things have been super busy here, both in and outside school, and I haven't got much creative energy! I will try to make a bigger effort though...
I've been enjoying throwing life and energy into church once again. It's been a while since I've been able to do that the way I like to. I'm being kept busy on Sundays, mostly with the evening service, and filling up my weekday evenings with other fun stuff. But trying to stay on top of everything this year will be slightly crazy!
Things have been super busy here, both in and outside school, and I haven't got much creative energy! I will try to make a bigger effort though...
I've been enjoying throwing life and energy into church once again. It's been a while since I've been able to do that the way I like to. I'm being kept busy on Sundays, mostly with the evening service, and filling up my weekday evenings with other fun stuff. But trying to stay on top of everything this year will be slightly crazy!
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