Walking in the cool of the day

It's summer evenings like these when I most crave something of the 'Eden experience' of walking with God among the trees in the cool of the day.

Evening walks are so delicious, especially on these light, warm summer evenings, when everything is touched with golden light and there's such a peaceful stillness in the air. I'd love to go out for more walks on evenings like this but it's not the same on your own. Walks are meant to be enjoyed with others I think. There's something about walking and relationships that goes together.

It's times like this when I wonder what it was like for the disciples to walk with Jesus among the trees on the Mount of Olives in the cool of the evening, away from the crowds of Jerusalem. I know that I want more of that intimacy with God. I want to walk with Jesus among the trees, to talk with him, to listen, to feel his hand on my shoulder and his presence beside me. It feels right to describe the Christian life and our growing relationship with God as a walk, but I find myself longing for more of those times among the trees. If only I had more awareness of the reality of that walk together and was able to relax more often in the Lord's presence, talk together and know that evening peace.

Cravings

In my earlier post Henri Nouwen ends the quoted section with the following:

"It is a world that fosters addictions because what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest craving of my heart."

It left me reflecting on cravings and addictions, and I remembered these verses from Ecclesiastes:

"I have seen the burden God has laid upon men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." (Ecclesiastes 3:10-11)

People often say that we ought to be content, and whilst I acknowledge the futility and ungraciousness of complaining about life, I fear being satisfied. The deep hunger in us, the heart that longs to be satisfied, is not an accident of our fallen human position (except in the sense that we have rejected the source of satisfaction). As Solomon says in the passage above, God has "set eternity in the hearts of men". He has made in us a heart that desires infinity, a craving that only He will satisfy. The Bible is full of that sense of expectancy: wanting more, being glad that this is not all there is, looking forward to a day when every hunger will be satisfied and every desire fulfilled.

"...but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears...Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Not I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." (1 Cor 13:10-13)

We often hear repeated that modern fable about the rich man who, despite owning more than we could imagine, still wants more. It is right to recognise that wealth, or any other earthly thing, will never satisfy but setting aside that deep dissatisfaction is not the answer. I want God to increase that craving in me, but at the same time keep reminding me that I will find my thirst slaked nowhere else.

Searching where it cannot be found

A follow up to my earlier post, here Henri Nouwen reflects on the question: "To whom do I belong? To God or to the world?"

Many of my daily preoccupations suggest that I belong more to the world than to God. A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down...

As long as I keep running about asking: "Do you love me? Do you really love me?" I give power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with 'ifs'. The world says: "Yes, I love you if you are good-looking, intelligent, and wealthy. I love you if you have a good education, a good job, and good connections. I love you if you produce much, sell much, and buy much." There are endless 'ifs' hidden in the world's love. These 'ifs' enslave me, since it is impossible to respond adequately to all of them. The world's love is and always will be conditional. As long as I keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, I will remain 'hooked' to the world - trying, failing, and trying again. It is a world that fosters addictions because what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest craving of my heart.

As ever, Nouwen speaks deep sense. We put ourselves in bondage because tie ourselves to the world's expectations and demands. This is no freedom. And those demands have no power over us except that we give them. I'm reminded of a line in the sonnet 'Batter my heart' by John Donne, which struck me recently:
"But am betroth'd unto your enemy..."

We run around, desperately trying to please, to earn acceptance and love, and all the time we have a heavenly Father, who loves us desperately and is just waiting for us to come home.

Just the best bits?

Chris has highlighted some interesting websites on his web journal. Check out the Gospel Spectrum, which is not only an excellent use of flash technology as visualisation aid / teaching tool (the media here actually adding a new dimension rather than simply displaying), but also shows some really interesting results.

I was especially interested in the level of Gospel harmony during different periods of Jesus' ministry. A button in the bottom left hand corner allows you to limit the view to those stories which appear in all four Gospels (click '4'!)

The feeding of the five thousand appears in all four - perhaps because with so many people involved it was well reported?! The triumphant entry into Jerusalem is similarly well represented by all four, who tell very similar versions. Plenty of witnesses that day!

The most completely represented period of Jesus' life is of course the period of his trials and death. Interesting that Peter's denial is so well-told in all four (actually it has the largest total amount of verse-space!). That the story of the lowest moment in the life of the leader of the church in Jerusalem should figure so prominently in its Scriptures says something about the nature of that church, doesn't it? And surely something about Peter. The story is told in such detail - how did it become so 'public' without the assistance of Peter himself?

This reminds me of Paul talking about boasting in weakness that the power of God might be made known in us. Do we tell the shameful stories, or even 'own' them in ourselves, so that the grace and power of God will be seen more clearly? We're so adept at only telling the best bits..

A way with words..

Something caught my attention on a recent reading of Acts 23.

Paul is normally really plain in expressing the Gospel and what he believes, but in this trial before the Sanhedrin he deliberately and quite cleverly subverts the questions and starts an argument between the Pharisees and Sadducees:

"I stand on trial because of my hope in the resurrection of the dead. When he said this, a dispute broke out between the Pharisees and the Sadducees, and the assembly was divided. [And Luke explains](the Sadducees say that there is no resurrection, and that there are neither angels nor spirits, but the Pharisees acknowledge them all.)" 23 v.6-7

It seems unusual for him to divert attention away in this way and perhaps even slightly deceptive - that's not really what they considered the trial was about surely? (although of course a fairly essential component) Perhaps he was just trying to highlight the lack of evidence or case against him..?

He later refers to this in his trial before Felix (chapter 24) when he admits that he caused a disturbance with his comments about resurrection before the Sanhedrin - and that was his only crime.

Thoughts?

Praying in Jesus' Name

3 or 4 years ago I was attending a regular prayer meeting at my church during the summer months at home. During that time, one of the things I heard from the Lord most clearly was this:

‘When you pray for someone, appeal to me on the basis of My nature – not theirs’

I came across this reminder while reading through a sermon on prayer that I wrote 2 or 3 years ago. I really needed to be reminded of that, although of course it sounds so obvious!

When we pray we're told to pray in Jesus' name. The dictionary says… ‘in the name of’ = for the sake of. So, basically it's for Jesus’ sake that we receive what we ask for, not our own! As it's been said, instead of pleading our case on our own merits (or anyone else's) we’re advised to throw ourselves on the mercy of the court.

‘hear me, not for my own sake, or the sake of my prayer and not even because of my distress, for it is a result of my own sinfulness – but hear me for Jesus’ sake,’ prays Hallesbury.

Pride and Prayers

I was just reflecting on wanting God to 'fix' my life while at the same time understanding why He's not doing it the way I'd like. What i mean by that, to give a trivial example, is that often I wish that I knew how to do something - like keep my bottom set year 9's busy on a Friday afternoon! - and that I was good at doing it. But at the same time I'm perfectly aware how easily I slip into self-sufficiency and pride, forgetting God. So even though I hate not being able to do things, at the same time I'm glad because it keeps me humble and reminds me that I can't do everything and that I am not complete on my own.

I'm reminded of a quote I heard last year: 'God does His best work in apparent weakness' (can't remember the exact words)

I know, right down to the bottom of my middle of my inside that if God's going to change me He's going to need to break me down first. That sounds depressing but I want it. We build up these ivory towers but they're empty inside - if God needs to smash a hole in me to fill me up, then that's how it has to be. And I say this because I know me, and I know what i'm like. There's so much work to be done!! I want to be filled to the measure with all the fulness of God (Eph 3:19) - no substitutes!

Ron on Sunday

Last thoughts for this evening (i hope!)... just trying to get stuff down before i forget!

Ron was preaching on identity on Sunday evening. He said any discussion of identity should not lose sight of the fact that we're sinners.
As in the AA - 'I am an alcholic' - we should not let ourselves forget that our relationship with God starts from a position of admitting our weakness. 'I am a sinner'

It was an excellent analogy and a good reminder.