I was just reflecting on wanting God to 'fix' my life while at the same time understanding why He's not doing it the way I'd like. What i mean by that, to give a trivial example, is that often I wish that I knew how to do something - like keep my bottom set year 9's busy on a Friday afternoon! - and that I was good at doing it. But at the same time I'm perfectly aware how easily I slip into self-sufficiency and pride, forgetting God. So even though I hate not being able to do things, at the same time I'm glad because it keeps me humble and reminds me that I can't do everything and that I am not complete on my own.
I'm reminded of a quote I heard last year: 'God does His best work in apparent weakness' (can't remember the exact words)
I know, right down to the bottom of my middle of my inside that if God's going to change me He's going to need to break me down first. That sounds depressing but I want it. We build up these ivory towers but they're empty inside - if God needs to smash a hole in me to fill me up, then that's how it has to be. And I say this because I know me, and I know what i'm like. There's so much work to be done!! I want to be filled to the measure with all the fulness of God (Eph 3:19) - no substitutes!
Sunday, May 29, 2005
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2 comments:
I've just realised that Seymour has been reflecting on some of this exact same stuff in his blog:
Lilias Trotter on Self-emptying - Seymour's blog
Hey, Clare - found your blog ... Mu-ha-ha-ha! You do write well, keep it up. I like the title of your blog, too.
Were you thinking of 2 Corinthians 12:9?
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me. (HCSB)
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